Well. Today was a better day than yesterday. Still a lot of sensory overload happening. Just, without the baby in the room. The baby left today. So that does relieve some stress.

There is a really loud kid on the ward though. He is loud and kinda obnoxious. I think he means well. But it is just something I can’t handle even on a normal day. He rides around on his electric motor on the ward. Which is allowed for some reason. Someone gave it to him. And he can’t go without. I assume a meltdown might happen if he can’t have some moments on it. He plays loud music. And it seems his guardian is not really able to keep him occupied. So instead, this kid keeps everyone occupied whether they want to or not.

And I kinda feel for him. Because I think he is just really curious and bored out of his mind. He comes across as neurodivergent. And being ND myself I can relate to an extent. But as far as I know, I never went around, approached people at random and ask them everything about them.

This kid also seems to have an obsession with car makes and types. And when you tell him you don’t have a car, he asks why. It really isn’t anyone’s business why we do or don’t. But he just won’t stop asking questions.

He also asked if I was Levi’s grandma today. And he was serious. It wasn’t a “let’s see if I can insult this person” kinda question. No, he was serious. Like the fuck, do I look THAT old already? I know the stress and lack of sleep are taking its toll some days. But come on…

At some point I was sitting in the shared “living room” area with Levi. I was trying to draw something. And you know. Some noise is fine. People talking, when not too crowded, it’s fine. Some background music, also fine, Kids laughing (if not overtly loud) is also fine.

But this kid sat down at the same table, saw a game called Halli Galli. And this version came with a bell. Like the ones you see at receptions. Oh my fecking God the kid would not stop beating that stupid bell!!! And as I got up to leave, as to not shout at the kid, he asked me where I was going. I told him I needed to go do something else.

Because, again, he has no idea the things he does are so intense I want to smash my head against the wall. And I don’t want to upset him either. I would tell my own kid to cut it out. And I raise my kids a certain way. But this is not my kid. I am known to come across as stern. My kids can handle that. Not every kid can though.

Furthermore, he tries to invade your space. In this case, my son’s room. The door was slightly open when the nurses were here, and he opened the door and started listening and watching. The nurses then of course sent him off. Closed the curtain and the door. The kid just started climbing his motorcycle so he could reach the door handle (which for the safety of the kids is really high up). When he was sent away multiple times, and apparently unable to really find something better to do, he started playing his music really loud, just right outside the room. But, apparently, when the nursing staff tells him he can’t listen to the music, he starts honking nonstop. So it’s either one of these things. And all this time I am just here thinking, where are his parents? Does he not have any? Are they unable to be with him? I can’t help but feel bad for the kid. However, that doesn’t mean I can stand to be around him. Nope. It’s a feeling of dread. And I hate it. I hate that I feel this way about a child.

About today’s illustration… I draw and paint a lot, usually, when we are at the hospital. But this time around I am so overwhelmed and tired, I don’t really create much.

However, today I tried to draw a cute little witch and then painted her with watercolours. It is a fairly small illustration. And so taking a photo proved challenging. I also think the colours are somewhat off and it all seems blurry and a poor drawing. But honestly, it looks cute in person!

But I do think I want to make a digital version too, sometime soon!